It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...