I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?