So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
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Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.