Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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