Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize