the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The air was thick with penises
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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