i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize