dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
