I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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