so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
