No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
