ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
