she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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