dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
