let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We left the knife in your bed.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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