At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
