if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
