I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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