why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
