if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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