I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
