My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
