Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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