i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
