so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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