Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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