well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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