I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
