Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
