there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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