called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
