i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I need water and some morals
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
