did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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