I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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