i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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