she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
