I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
