I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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