Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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