Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?