Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I just tipped a bartender in xanax.

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  (805): I just tipped a bartender in xanax. http://tfl.nu/pn9d
  Replies (16) Good night (3320) Bad night (593)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."

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  (201): At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure." http://tfl.nu/vpnd
  Replies (42) Good night (6089) Bad night (801)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her

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  (913): I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her http://tfl.nu/1ar3
  Replies (39) Good night (5925) Bad night (1529)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

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  (208): I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age. http://tfl.nu/hp0x
  Replies (28) Good night (5908) Bad night (1027)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.

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  (517): Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls. http://tfl.nu/kswf
  Replies (3) Good night (2108) Bad night (1621)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.

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  (+61): THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/omc3
  Replies (12) Good night (3596) Bad night (854)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it

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  (404): Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it http://tfl.nu/ez1e
  Replies (41) Good night (1685) Bad night (2039)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the stuff legends are made of

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  (847): Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate? (412): That's the stuff legends are made of http://tfl.nu/wudz
  Replies (12) Good night (1339) Bad night (1089)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips

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  (813): I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips http://tfl.nu/x2sl
  Replies (25) Good night (771) Bad night (1357)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"

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  (440): I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found" http://tfl.nu/rmaa
  Replies (3) Good night (1677) Bad night (491)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?

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  (416): I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS? http://tfl.nu/n2hz
  Replies (11) Good night (2393) Bad night (549)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.

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  (734): Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins. http://tfl.nu/ngas
  Replies (5) Good night (621) Bad night (728)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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  (520): This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina. http://tfl.nu/8kic
  Replies (9) Good night (932) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.

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  (630): Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in. http://tfl.nu/lkgb
  Replies (12) Good night (1209) Bad night (446)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.

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  (360): Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that. http://tfl.nu/0kao
  Replies (0) Good night (801) Bad night (272)

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