whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am one with the molecules
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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