Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
