were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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