We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
