and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My bed smells like the plague
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
is it fun? or sober?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
