4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
