just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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