...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had to cum in my sink.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
