i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
