Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
