Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
