Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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