Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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