Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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