kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
