I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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