I want to have your abortion
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
