I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Church boner. Awkwardddd
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
