We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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