Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize