He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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