I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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