Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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