She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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