Kiss
Puke
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
