he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
