I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
