someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
