wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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