she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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