I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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