If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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