The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
